Free Ebook The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

Free Ebook The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

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Product details

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Audible Audiobook

Listening Length: 8 hours and 28 minutes

Program Type: Audiobook

Version: Unabridged

Publisher: Tantor Audio

Audible.com Release Date: March 28, 2011

Language: English, English

ASIN: B004U6H7RY

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

Noted marriage researcher John Gottman has written a very good and practical book full of genuine insights into marriages, and specifically why some work and others fail. The book itself is of great use to anyone married, contemplating marriage, or on the brink of divorce. I recommend that the book be read even by people in solid marriages to prevent a future derailment, but of course the book will primarily be read by people in struggling marriages.The difference between this book and most other marriage counseling books is that it is scientifically and empirically based. Gottman debunks many myths including the myth that most divorces are the results of affairs; in fact he conclusively demonstrates that most affairs are symptoms of a failing marriage, and not the cause.The two best chapters in the book are chapters two and seven. Chapter two deals with predicting divorce (which he is quite good at) and presents sobering warning signs of pending failures as well as methods to cope with the specific problems. Chapter seven deals with the two types of marital problems, and was frankly why I bought the book: this chapter is excellent for engaged couples to read together prior to marriage. Gottman explodes the myth that all problems are solvable and can be dealt with using effective compromise: the sections on "perpetual problems" and gridlock are particularly insightful and helpful. I also found the afterword to be especially practical.The book is insightful, fact-based, and helpful for people contemplating marriage or in a marriage of any quality. I was torn between five stars and four, and eventually settled on four because I found a few of the exercises to not be especially helpful, but that is a relatively minor point; the text is worth five stars throughout, and I highly recommend this book.

This was an extremely insightful read leading up to (ironically) my divorce. It helped me to more clearly identify what was going wrong in my marriage and what it would take to fix it. His descriptions of the different ways couples argue were especially helpful. He provides relationship strengthening exercises that can be done individually or as a couple. One exercise in particular provided a lot of clarity because my immediate thought on reading it was, "This seems like a really good idea, but the emotional toll it would take on me given the state of our relationship isn't a cost I'm willing to bear." That sober look at the costs necessary to repair my marriage allowed me to clearly see the pros and cons of staying in the relationship. Although we ultimately divorced, I continue to use the insight I gained from this book in evaluating the health and long-term viability of my dating relationships.

I love audio books and this one works well on my iPhone. To me, the author is saying that your basic friendship with your spouse will get you through the hard times and that you need to treat your spouse with the same courtesy that you treat other people. You need to focus on what you like about them. It gives good common sense.

Seven Principles is a research-based book addressing a variety of marital difficulties. Gottman bases his advice on clinical studies—observable, repeatable, and quantifiable data—which makes the heart-directed core of his book all the more more surprising. It promotes a science of emotion and communication. It's a bit on the long side due to its many examples and descriptions, but it's worth sticking through to the end. The questionnaires peppered throughout the book are particularly useful at helping you diagnose areas which need improvement, followed by specific counsel on how to improve. In short: this is much more a workbook with assignments than a lecture or sermon to memorize.That's why I recommend reading Seven Principles with a highlighter in hand. You can mark the passages in which Gottman gives specific advice/instruction so that when you revisit the book you can quickly skip over the filler. (The filler consists of examples and discussion of how research methods. You really only need to read those parts once. Identifying the applicable parts of the book quickly will help facilitate your revisiting the book for advice over time.)

Marriage is as complex as it is potentially rewarding. Gottman serves up secret handshake after secret handshake and, with 67% of marriages ending in divorce before the 40th anniversary, it is no exaggeration to say that this book should be incorporated into the high school syllabus.

This book comes from the knowledgeable position of research into married couples from an observation methodology. I liked that especially well; it's not opinion-based. Once I began reading, I could see clearly how marriages I know that have failed do trot out the "four horsemen" and how admiration and friendship radiate in marriages I admire. I applied some principles in this book and some from "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It" and saw an immediate positive difference in my own marriage. The only reason I give four stars rather than five is because this book approaches all the exercises from the assumption that the couple is equally interested in the "let's work on our marriage" perspective, which would not be useful for me. This is one element I like better about the other book. However, you can still do or partially do the exercises in this book without sitting down as a couple and "agreeing" to work on the marriage, and it will still have tremendously positive results if only one person makes a decision to do these positive things.

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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert PDF

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert PDF

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert PDF

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert PDF